my biggest apologies

to all my beloved hunnies / frens .

im sorry that ive been neglecting most of you all for the past few days or more :/
and im sorry that ive not been myself lately .
either way, im not sure why . guess like what abel used to say, im having that 'abbie mood' again . pfft
whatever it is, i couldnt care less anyway . for now .
so pls ignore me for some time . really .

i think .. [ i know ] i might be goin through this 'thing' again .
aint this always the same? just like every other day .
where i'll cry . thinkin why god took my bestfren away?

i really wanna let go, but i just cant . ive suffer this pain for so long, and i can still feel him ard .
i wanna hold him again, i wanna see his face, hear his laughs, see him smile, tell him things, everything .

after months of solitude, why cant i let go of him?

i wanna drop by ipoh just to see him .
lucky for daniel, tim and jaqce, who'll be goin there for a visit .
where as, i , dont fuckin think i can ever get out from here .


xoxo - i still think of you . every now and then, every moment, every minute, of my every day .

this aint no ordinary love song

by P.O.D

I don't belong
Too many wrongs
I'm so undeserving .
I'm lost inside confusing minds. a slave to what i'm feeling .
Scared of what i'm thinking. i'm not worried about forgiving you .
The simple truth

This ain't no ordinary love song

This love undone
Words left unsung
Now i have become me .
The reasoning escapes my soul that leads to understanding
Loving you to death is stopping someone else from living too
Now it's killing you.

[chorus]
Losing control to all my thoughts
I want to let go but i cannot
This is my love it's all i got
Don't take there in hell i'll rot

This is my love it's all i got

[chorus]
Losing control to all my thoughts
I want to let go but i cannot
This is my love it's all i got
Don't take there in hell i'll rot


xoxo

happy 20th birthday

to my dearest fren, JOY CHONG :]
this is joy .

the oh so beautiful person you'll ever know .

gavin and joy .
(hmm.. havent seen him for a long long time,
he's prolly forgotten bout me . lol)

some guy who looks real familiar to me, and the awesomest joy ;]

an amazing make up artist .

a good fren :]

i miss hanging out with you .

ashleigh . joy . wan ru . mel .

someone who's been there for me when i was younger, during my primary age, i think?
a good fren that i can always count on . thanks so much for everything .
tho we havent been talkin so much lately :/ but we still keep in touch =D
i miss .. her cooking . and her make up accessories . her house (the one i used to go to), its big . lol

p.s. joy,
im sorry that i didnt had time to call you to hang out for your bday like i said i would .
but things have been so hectic lately, i couldnt find the time . sorry .
i promise i'll make it up to you . we could someday go .. shopping? :D :D heh
or you could give me an make over . lmao

have a lovely birthday and all the best for everything!
take care


xoxo

im alright

im alright, i swear im happy .
im gonna make it , even if ive gotta fake it .
they dont hear her cries
see the claw marks on the wall
they dont hear her pleas
as they echo down the hall

they dont see her eyes
a window to her soul
they dont see her struggles
as depression takes its toll

she screams in rage
behind the bars of her cage
society's ugly confinement
restrained from her intent
not to mesh , a broken link
a daring challenge , she cant rethink

no one hears the whimpers
no one sees the tremors
no one knows of her war
violent thrashing at the wall
a war within her mind
in the end she must stand tall


xoxo

mixed emotions

theres another song inside my head
my mind goes over everything youve said
and everything you havent
just let it go
obsession | consumes | me , please let me know
all that i want is for you to want me
tell me you need me or my dreams will haunt me
these mixed emotions are mocking and taunting
and my mind keeps on turning around ...


xoxo

not ready to make nice

by the dixie chicks


Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting


xoxo

storm

by Lifehouse


How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright


xoxo

perfect insanity

by Disturbed

Ah ah ah ah ah aooo

Come inside and be afraid
Of this impressive mess I've made
If you take a look now you will find

I have throne away my vice
Done away with paradise
See what's going on inside my mind
Please let me out ; please let me out
Please let me

[Chorus]
Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning my mind
I believe that you made your message clear
I think i am loosing my mind
I think i am loosing my mind
Never been enough to really know that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
I think i am loosing my mind
I think i am loosing my mind

Come inside now I implore
Do you think you can restore
Crucial pieces missing from my brain
What seems to be the matter dear
Why do you cry and shake with fear
I only have the best of thee insane
Please let me out ; please let me out
Please let me

[Chorus]

Don't know how much I can take
Secret thoughts inside me wake
I've lost what it was within me
Oh sweet insanity

I don't know how much I can take
Secret thoughts inside me wake
I've lost what it was within me
Oh sweet insanity

Now I try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind

Try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind

I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm Lost
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind


xoxo

the rain

i like this poem, lol..

I love the rain .
It takes away the pain .
Slowly but surely it goes away .
I listen and listen on my window paine,
The rain, the rain,
it takes my breath away.

The rain, the rain,
I wish to be kissed in the rain,
Kissing his lips without thinkin of anything .
The rain, the rain,
I love the rain .

written by Dominique Gray :)


xoxo

beautifully broken

by Ashlee Simpson

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didnt know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes

[Chorus:]
I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it

Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past
Everytime theres another storm I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

Without the highs and the lows
Where will we go?
Where will we go?

[Chorus]

I am beautifully broken, I am beautifully broken
I am beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it


xoxo