love and memories

by O.A.R ( Of A Revolutions )

Lovely, you're always lovely
A vision
You were the one
Now I am stuck inside a memory
You forgot about our destiny
You buried me
Didn't you?
Didn't you?


Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound


You're always floating
A vapor
That I couldn't see
Here I am stuck inside a yesterday
Everything has given way
You fell from me
Didn't you?
Didn't you?


Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories


Maybe I am a crowded mind
I watch your eyes glaze over
Stared down at the floor
You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you
But here we go again


Didn't you
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories

xoxo

tagged by min hui :)

listening to :
Happy Apple Poison by Lovedrug

1. Who is your ONE best friend?
Mika Pantaleo
my bestfren who ive just recently got married to :D

2. How long do you know him/her?
more than a year

3. this question seems to be missing..

4. Is the person that tagged you your best friend?
she's a good fren of mine :)

5. Describe the person that tagged you.
she's shweeet :) caring and lovable too . haha

6. How do you get to know the person that tagged you?
we were skewlmates

7. Ever regretted from knowing some friend?
i dont regret . its more of a lesson to be learned..

8. If your best friend betrayed you, what will you do?
burn everything she ever gave me, all those heart warming letters and such D:
BUT, i trust her and i doubt she'll betray me .

9. It's your best friend birthday. What would you give him/her?
melted chocolate on strawberry cake and champagne :) her favorite :D
or maybe something else in mind =p

10. Say something grateful to your best friend.
Mika's my strawberry ichigo . my evil twin, my bitch ;D . she understood how much i was hurt, and how much i had to go through . and no matter what, she's always there to whine things up and turn my grey days to one of the brightest :D we have soo much in common and never once has she judged me . hunney, i miss you much and i love you to the very top!

xoxo

tagged by esther :)

listening to :
Viva La Vida by Coldplay

rules :
- Pick your month .
- Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you .

- Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you .

- Copy to your own blog , with all twelve months .

- Tag 10 people

January

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

March

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

April

Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

June

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.Talk ative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

July

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties instudy ing. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

August

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

September

Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

October

Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

November

Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

December

Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>

>>>>

>>

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

&& i tag anyone whos bored, lol

xoxo

breaking memories

early this morning ard 7, david came and pick me up to have breakfast . had some long talk with him . as david has always been the wise fren or something . he's been telling me how i should be thinking more bout my life than waste my time on foolish things . i hate to admit, but he's right .

anyways, an hour or so after that . the both of us went to visit ben's grave .

i still rmbr the day he passed away . i was in skewl and i got this call saying that he passed away.. everything all came in fast motion, i didnt believe it . i didnt wanna believe it at all.. everyone in skewl could see how devastated i was . where after that, jin yin was there to comfort me as i had to call nick to tell him bout the bad news . neither could nick believed what happened . it seems just like yesterday they were talking to each other .

the next day of his funeral, i didnt attend.. i didnt go and pay my last respect .
instead i was out in curve and then dinner at this korean bbq restaurant with a few ppl .


what kind of a fren was i?


i was in denial .
i lost sean . and early this year, i lost mack . and i refused to have lost ben .
i wasnt a good fren at all .. i felt so alone . and coming back home was the worst thing to do . remembering that he used to come by to see how i was coping, remembering him using my laptop, remembering his lame jokes, everything . i missed him so .

i went to see him the next morning . but it wasnt the same .
saying my last goodbye to him was one of my most difficult moment .

when we reached.. while i was still in the car, refusing to get out, with the flowers on my lap, i started to cry.. thinking that this is all that i deserve, mayb i wasnt meant to be happy . but i finally got out .
standing in front, seeing his tiny picture on this craved stone made me weak, i felt like breaking down .




why?
why have i lost the ones i love most?

xoxo

favorite mistake

by October Fall

To you my favorite mistake
it looks like a second too late
use these words to slit your throat
i meant the words i just wrote


your sick of trying, so am i
you tried another suicide
next time... cut harder


promote your flaws
show your mistakes
6 feet underground
you dig your own grave (2x)

this lead to a loss of sleep
forget you can't forget me
another cut, a loss of blood
why aren't you happy when done


your sick of trying, so am i
you tried another suicide
next time... cut harder


promote your flaws
show your mistakes
6 feet underground
you dig your own grave (2x)


we'll cut harder


promote your flaws
show your mistakes
6 feet underground
you dig your own grave (2x)

xoxo

in times like these, i just wanna die

I tried to die. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. For being selfish. For being intolerable. For being irritating. For trying too hard. For saying the wrong things. For hurting innocent people. For making people cry. For pushing those that cared away. For not knowing how to make things right. I'm sorry for not being as well polished as everyone around me. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry for not being smart enough. I'm sorry for not being talented enough, an excellent mind. I'm sorry if you regret wasting your time and money on me. I'm sorry you have to compare me to everyone else, because I'm not what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry for not coruscating as brightly as the other girls. I apologize for giving you a reason to scream, shout, hit me everyday. I'm sorry you have to look at me with disgust. I'm sorry the thought of disowning me ever crossed your mind. I'm sorry for not being an outstanding individual, daughter, friend. Person. I hope you forgive me for not trying to change, even though I know its for my own well being. I hope you forgive me, for procrastinating, for ignoring, for laughing, for cursing, for disappointing. All those times you needed me, and I wasn't there. Please don't hate me for being prone to jealousy, to perfection. To anything remotely better than I. Please don't think lesser of me, please don't see me as fraudulant and wrathful. Please don't turn away from me, for being different. Please don't say I am everything you stand against. I am begging you. To not question how I think. To not look at me with hate, to not condemn me. To not criticize the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I look, the way I am. To not label me. To not exclude me, for I do feel, I do. And I want to be apart of whatever. To not judge me on appearance. To not give up on me. I do not wish to be worthless. I do not want you to cry for me, I do not want to cry for myself. I do not want you to cry for me, I do not want to cry for myself. I do not want to look at other people, and want to be more like them. For I have told myself, that I will not be defined by what others are. I do not possess the power to make anyone happy, I try. I am not a good person, I have done things that I am not proud of. I am a fake. I am weak. I am a coward. I am condemned. I am selfish. I am inadequate. I am rude. I am immature. I am unbareable. I am temperamental. I am worthless. I am insignificant. I am nothing. I am useless. Now, would you believe me if I said I didn't need you ? 'Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me.

xxx

broken wings by flyleaf

currently my favourite song :)

Thank you for being
such a friend to me
Oh I pray a friend for life
And have I ever told you
how much you mean to me
Oh you're everything to me
I'm thinkin all the time
how to tell what I feel
I'm contimplating phrases
I'm gazing at eternity
I am floating in serenity


And I am so lost for words
And I am so overwhelmed


Please don't go just yet
Can you stay a moment please?
We can dance together
and we can dance forever


Under your stars tonight
We'll live and breathe this dream


Close your eyes
but don't dream too deep
and please pass me some memories
But I fall you're underneath
a thousand broken hearts
Carried by a thousand broken wings
A thousand broken wings

xoxo

im back! D:

listening to :
Memories by Within Temptation

i missh Beijing! (especially those two hawt china boys ;p)
shuuuuussssh, might even update a lil bout it, soon :D
damn lazy now la .
anyways, bought loads of things! shopped like crazy, money was spent like water .
besides that, came across loads of leng zhai . went drooling and stalking each one of them from across the street or everywhere else! hahahahahahaha


i could update more bout the trip but sadly when i came back, i was busy talking on the phone :)
no time for much typing atm..
OR
i'll update soon when i get the pcitures back from Sally, SuLynn and whatshisname .


so yea.. imma go now .
ive not slept for more than 9873109810831 hours
can die adi.. hahahah
goooodniiiiights!

xoxo

woots, im going to Beijing!

listening to :

I'm Yours by The Script

yeaps, that's right :)
im goin to Beijing and i'll be away for a week . tho, to me, going to Beijing not only feels like im going to rehab . but its also more like an escape trip . probably to clear things out from my mind, get myself occupied, relax and maybe just have fun eating snow!! i just want to get away and be happy again . being able to get away from this place is all i want right now, and thats a good thing cause i feel like i really need that .
those of you who thinks i dont seem happy enough to be goin to Beijing . dont get me wrong, i am excited to be going there . but just not too excited. get what i mean?
anyways, imma miss you guys so much!!


my lovelies.. aka, my ex puay chai 2 classmates .
im not 100% sure that i'll be there for the gathering on 22nd, i'll let you guys know la! cause i'll be back the day before, i think . and the gathering is from 10am till 12am!
you guys are killing me!!!
BUT.. im dying to see you all!! so i'll try my best to be there kays .


P,S. PLS DO NOT CALL ME, YOU MAY SMS ME, I MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT REPLY, BUT PLS DONT CALL . UNLESS I CALL YOU ;p


HAPPY HOLIDAYS PPL! TAKE CARE!

xoxo

didnt my love mean anything to you?

listening to :
Always You by Amber Pacific

it is bitter, the feeling that i feel every night
it makes me want to cry so badly that i will fall asleep
have you ever felt me in the times that ive felt you?
in the deepest silence i want to drown and lie down


its such a hurt i felt only this time
the time that you've broken my heart
the time that you've broken your promises
the time that you've destroyed my dreams
to be with you


and now im lying all alone, i cant stand still
this feeling makes me weak every now and then
i tried to collect the parts and re-arrange it again
but no,
there's nothing like the taste of a broken heart

xoxo

tagged by vinnie, my sweet candy :D

while i was browsing through Joey's blog, i saw my name so i had to read everything slowly cause it gave me a shock when i re'd that "our affair is over" xD hahahaha


How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your blog).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___.
Loves;
-Your name-

P/S: You are so lifeless, ___13___, -The name of the person that tagged you-.

OKAY, SO HERE GOES..

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

13. What is your favorite activities when hanging out with mates?
Gathering for drinks - Ugly pig
Foosball - Silly duck
Shopping - French kisser
Dulging for food - Cranky banana
Movies - Smelly armpits
Snacks - Horny wolf
Snooker - Tiny nipples
Bowling - Sexy grandmother
Outdoor activities - Vain pot
Having a long talk - Nose plucker
Taking pictures - Dumb bitch
Other - Burn yourself

_____________________________________

Dear da_foO.

I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when last year with Paris Hilton and I saw you pour syrup on my best friend. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked to ruin the second world war. In pain .

Loves;
-Abbie Lyann-

P/S: You are so lifeless, french kisser, -Vinnie-.

OMGGGG WEY!! HAHAHHAAAH xD


&& i tagg
- Amira
- Andrea
- Esther Loong
- Felicia
- Jayshen
- Juniiebell
- Kai Yi
- Samantha Claire
- Vivian
- Yuin

xoxo

tagged by esther loong =p

listening to :
Love Remains The Same by Gavin Rossdale

A. Attached or Single?
- single


B. Best Friend?
- Mika Pantaleo


C. Cake or pie?
- cake, cause its yummy xD


D. Day of choice?
- saturday


E. Essential item?
- ipod


F. Favorite colour?
- purrrrpleee :D


G. Gummy bears or worms?
- gummy bears!


H. Hometown?
- malaysia


I. Favorite indulgence?
- HAAGEN DAAZ's chocolate chip :)


J. January or July?
- January (CNY = GREENS! =p)


K. Kids?
- in the future, probably


L. Life isn’t complete without?
- fuck this question


M. Marriage date?
- i have no friggin idea!


N. Number of brothers and sisters?
- two younger bros


O. Oranges or Apples?
- i dislike both . but apple would do


P. Phobias?
- heights >_<


Q. Quotes?
- "Behind Every Bitch Is A Guy Who Made Her That Way"


R. Reasons to smile?
- frens, music, chocolate


S. Season of choice?
- autumn


T. Tag 5 people
- Amira
- Min Hui
- Samantha Claire
- Yuin
- Yun Xin


U. Unknown fact about me?
- im secretly attracted to Daisy Lowe =p


V. Vegetable?
- not all, but some .


W. Worst habit?
- staying up for days o_O


X. X-ray or Ultrasound?
- neither . done those two and i hated it cause it friggin scares me!


Y. Your favorite type of food?
- thai and korean food :)


Z. Zodiac sign?
- aquarius ~

xoxo

spm takers

GOOD LUCK
&&
ALL THE BEST!!

:)

xoxo

da_foO, happy birthday!

listening to :
The Red Carpet Grave by Marilyn Manson

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!

my lovely cousin, not to worry..
youre still twenTEEN!
youre not old, as of, - yet -
bwahahahaha xD

glad you're finally back from melb :)
missed you too much!

xxx

taste the blood of my tears ; he's waiting for that day i stab myself

listening to:
Just A Car Crash Away by Marilyn Manson

ive been away for awhile..
so okay, im back blogging .
not sure why i even bother having a blog


anyways, please ignore the previous post my fren Portia blogged bout
she was just dramatically angry at that moment
( but hunn, thank you so much for bein my shoulder to cry on )
besides, behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way
and that goes for me..


thanks a bunch for being there for me :
vivian, for every friggin moment that has happened . through thick and thin, even from the beginning .
steph, im real sorry that i got you really worried and that i didnt inform you of anything that has been goin on lately . im sorry .
and anyone else who's been there too .


sammy and vinnie, i'll do your tags when im free kay?

xxx

Miss Portia Ng here

So since my babe refuses to update anything these couple of days, i guess i'll just post something here..


First Of All. I am so srry that i have not been there for you, but i am now. Im always here to cheer you up NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES IVE FAILED.


Secondly, to this "person",
HAVE YOU NO BALLS TO TALK TO HER FACE TO FACE!?! YOURE A SERIOUS IDIOT AND SHE'S EVEN MORE AN IDIOT (no offence babe) FOR NOT HAVING A SWEET REVENGE ON YOU. MHMM, LET ME SEE, YOU COULD MAYBE GO TO JAIL FOR THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS.
NOT ONLY WERE YOU A BIG JERK ASS TO HER, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID SHE DO TO MAKE YOU HURT HER THIS BAD?
NOT FOR A MINUTES DID I THINK THAT YOU DESERVED HER AT ALL, NOT ONE BIT! YOURE A FUCKING LOSER AND ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL BREAK YOUR HEART LIKE YOU BROKE HERS.
THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE SAW IN YOU, BUT IM HOPING SHE'LL MOVE ON SOON. FOR HER SAKE, ALL THAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, SHE DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS SHE NEEDS.
SHE'S THE SWEETEST THING, AND ANYONE WILL BE THE HAPPIEST GUY TO BE WITH HER. IVE KNOWN HER TOO LONG AND TOO WELL AND I'LL KNOW IF SOMETHING ISNT RIGHT. YES, SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT SHE LOVES YOU.
DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR HER TO LET ANYONE IN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTED YOU? DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR HER TO LOVE SOMEONE AGAIN? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE? DID YOU REALLY LOVED HER? OR WAS IT ALL A BEAUTIFUL LIE TO GET INTO HER PANTS??
WHATEVER IT WAS, SHE BLAMED IT ALL ON HERSELF. I THINK ITS STUPID WHEN SHE IS SUPPOSED TO PUT ALL HER HATE ON YOU. BUT SHE DOESNT HATE YOU AT ALL, INSTEAD SHE'S WILLING TO FORGIVE, WILLING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR SHE LOVES YOU. SHE WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY. HOW ON EARTH CAN ANYONE FIND SOMEONE LIKE HER? I RELLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD SHE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
SHE NEEDS AN EXPLANATION. SHE JUST WANTED TO TALK. BUT WHY? WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER? BECAUSE SHE CARE? BECAUSE SHE WAS INSECURE? BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO MISS A CHANCE WITH YOU? BECAUSE SHE FELT SAFE BEING WITH YOU? BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID? BECAUSE SHE WAS HAPPY? BECAUSE SHE CHOOSED YOU? BECAUSE SHE FUCKING LOVES YOU? I WONDER WHY.
JUST ONCE, SHE WANTED TO LOVE SOMEONE AND NOT HAVE HER HEART HURT IN THE END.
SHE GAVE UP HER PAST, SHE CHOOSED YOU. BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BEING WITH YOU WOULD BE WORTH IT. YOU TOOK CARE OF HER, TOUGHT HER, YOU WERE THERE FOR HER.
BUT WHAT HAPPENDED? WHY DID YOU END IT ALL? YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER, BUT I GUESSED YOU HAD YOUR FINGERS CROSSED. TALK TO HER, EXPLAIN, SHE'LL UNDERSTAND THEN MAYBE SHE'LL STOP CRYING FOR ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. BUT THIS IS BULLSHIT I SAY, SHE'S CRYING FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESNT APPRECIATE HER.
YOU HURT HER SO BAD WHEN ALL SHE EVER DID WAS LOVE YOU.
IF YOU ACTUALLY REALLY LOVED HER, YOU WOULDNT HURT HER. IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED, YOU'LL BE THERE FOR HER.

im going insane

listening to :

Crashed The Wedding by BUSTED

im outta my mind

seriously

xoxo

happy birthday rascals :)

listening to :

One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY
RASCALS

no matter how big of a pain you guys are ..
you'll always be my brothers

xoxo