my biggest apologies

to all my beloved hunnies / frens .

im sorry that ive been neglecting most of you all for the past few days or more :/
and im sorry that ive not been myself lately .
either way, im not sure why . guess like what abel used to say, im having that 'abbie mood' again . pfft
whatever it is, i couldnt care less anyway . for now .
so pls ignore me for some time . really .

i think .. [ i know ] i might be goin through this 'thing' again .
aint this always the same? just like every other day .
where i'll cry . thinkin why god took my bestfren away?

i really wanna let go, but i just cant . ive suffer this pain for so long, and i can still feel him ard .
i wanna hold him again, i wanna see his face, hear his laughs, see him smile, tell him things, everything .

after months of solitude, why cant i let go of him?

i wanna drop by ipoh just to see him .
lucky for daniel, tim and jaqce, who'll be goin there for a visit .
where as, i , dont fuckin think i can ever get out from here .


xoxo - i still think of you . every now and then, every moment, every minute, of my every day .

this aint no ordinary love song

by P.O.D

I don't belong
Too many wrongs
I'm so undeserving .
I'm lost inside confusing minds. a slave to what i'm feeling .
Scared of what i'm thinking. i'm not worried about forgiving you .
The simple truth

This ain't no ordinary love song

This love undone
Words left unsung
Now i have become me .
The reasoning escapes my soul that leads to understanding
Loving you to death is stopping someone else from living too
Now it's killing you.

[chorus]
Losing control to all my thoughts
I want to let go but i cannot
This is my love it's all i got
Don't take there in hell i'll rot

This is my love it's all i got

[chorus]
Losing control to all my thoughts
I want to let go but i cannot
This is my love it's all i got
Don't take there in hell i'll rot


xoxo

happy 20th birthday

to my dearest fren, JOY CHONG :]
this is joy .

the oh so beautiful person you'll ever know .

gavin and joy .
(hmm.. havent seen him for a long long time,
he's prolly forgotten bout me . lol)

some guy who looks real familiar to me, and the awesomest joy ;]

an amazing make up artist .

a good fren :]

i miss hanging out with you .

ashleigh . joy . wan ru . mel .

someone who's been there for me when i was younger, during my primary age, i think?
a good fren that i can always count on . thanks so much for everything .
tho we havent been talkin so much lately :/ but we still keep in touch =D
i miss .. her cooking . and her make up accessories . her house (the one i used to go to), its big . lol

p.s. joy,
im sorry that i didnt had time to call you to hang out for your bday like i said i would .
but things have been so hectic lately, i couldnt find the time . sorry .
i promise i'll make it up to you . we could someday go .. shopping? :D :D heh
or you could give me an make over . lmao

have a lovely birthday and all the best for everything!
take care


xoxo

im alright

im alright, i swear im happy .
im gonna make it , even if ive gotta fake it .
they dont hear her cries
see the claw marks on the wall
they dont hear her pleas
as they echo down the hall

they dont see her eyes
a window to her soul
they dont see her struggles
as depression takes its toll

she screams in rage
behind the bars of her cage
society's ugly confinement
restrained from her intent
not to mesh , a broken link
a daring challenge , she cant rethink

no one hears the whimpers
no one sees the tremors
no one knows of her war
violent thrashing at the wall
a war within her mind
in the end she must stand tall


xoxo

mixed emotions

theres another song inside my head
my mind goes over everything youve said
and everything you havent
just let it go
obsession | consumes | me , please let me know
all that i want is for you to want me
tell me you need me or my dreams will haunt me
these mixed emotions are mocking and taunting
and my mind keeps on turning around ...


xoxo

not ready to make nice

by the dixie chicks


Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting


xoxo

storm

by Lifehouse


How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright


xoxo

perfect insanity

by Disturbed

Ah ah ah ah ah aooo

Come inside and be afraid
Of this impressive mess I've made
If you take a look now you will find

I have throne away my vice
Done away with paradise
See what's going on inside my mind
Please let me out ; please let me out
Please let me

[Chorus]
Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning my mind
I believe that you made your message clear
I think i am loosing my mind
I think i am loosing my mind
Never been enough to really know that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
I think i am loosing my mind
I think i am loosing my mind

Come inside now I implore
Do you think you can restore
Crucial pieces missing from my brain
What seems to be the matter dear
Why do you cry and shake with fear
I only have the best of thee insane
Please let me out ; please let me out
Please let me

[Chorus]

Don't know how much I can take
Secret thoughts inside me wake
I've lost what it was within me
Oh sweet insanity

I don't know how much I can take
Secret thoughts inside me wake
I've lost what it was within me
Oh sweet insanity

Now I try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind

Try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind

I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm Lost
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind ; I'm lost my mind
I'm lost my mind


xoxo

the rain

i like this poem, lol..

I love the rain .
It takes away the pain .
Slowly but surely it goes away .
I listen and listen on my window paine,
The rain, the rain,
it takes my breath away.

The rain, the rain,
I wish to be kissed in the rain,
Kissing his lips without thinkin of anything .
The rain, the rain,
I love the rain .

written by Dominique Gray :)


xoxo

beautifully broken

by Ashlee Simpson

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didnt know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes

[Chorus:]
I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it

Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past
Everytime theres another storm I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

Without the highs and the lows
Where will we go?
Where will we go?

[Chorus]

I am beautifully broken, I am beautifully broken
I am beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it


xoxo

shattered past

i saw a shattered mirror today,
looked in to see a broken reflection,
a remnant of what was.
i saw my broken dreams,
and my swiftly fading past.
i saw all of the pain,
watched all of the tears,
standing there silently,
not glancing away.
i watched a single droplet,
like a little crystal tear,
trickle down the broken glass
until it was stopped in a crack.
it could not escape that crevice,
as i could not escape my past.
run as i might,
i could not hide,
and now i face it here.
i tried to wash away the pain
with yet more agony,
but mere physical torment
could not wipe it all away.


xoxo

mmm...

a cat falls in a pool , a rooster laughs .
whats the moral of the story?
=
a wet pussy makes a cock feel good .

hahahhaha . LMFAO .


xoxo

hahahaha . this is funny :3

LOL


xoxo

anger

anger building up
so close to exploding
i am so close to the edge
no second thoughts before knowing
my body shakes with anger
the line is so close
slowly starting to overstep that line
my eyes start to tear up
softly falling down my cheeks
anger invades me
precisely and carefully taking over
anger... anger... anger...
the human passion that can help or destroy me
i feel like im alone in this small world
but the anger becomes my friend
my body crumbles to the ground
i wake up screaming


xoxo

i was never meant to be

one tear of shame
two tears for being so lame
three tears for knowing that i cause all the pain

everything i own is filled with these tears

the years of living
the months of waiting
the weeks dreaming
the days wishing

theyre all killing me
cant you see ?
i was never meant to be


xoxo

i hate life

i am dealing with the pain...

all these years i have cried
i am tired and i just want to die
the time goes by
and i am still alive
i am too weak to carry on
for all i do is cry
everything is so wrong
i have dealt with it for too long

i am going to commit suicide
and thats not a lie
i have tried before...
but it just left me a little sore

the more i deal...
the pain turns so real
i like to feel the pain
oh, but dont try to tell me i aint sane
cause thats just my way of dealing with this pain


xoxo

in the depths of solitude

i exist in the depths of solitude
pondering my true goal
trying to find peace of mind
and still preserve my soul
constantly yearning to be accepted
and from all receive respect
never compromising but sometimes risky
and that is my only regret
a young heart with an old soul
how can there be peace
how can i be in the depths of solitude
when there are two inside me
this duo within me causes
the perfect opportunity
to learn and live twice as fast
as those who accept simplicity


xoxo - solitude & defeat, ever the same

here's what i heard..

that ppl who's at 17, can drive and get their licenses . issit true?

pls dont give me too much hope .
you know how much i crave to drive a car . haha

well, not much really . im afraid that i might kill someone O.0
but to be able to drive, i dont have to disturb my mom or my frens to drive me to the places i wanna go .
tht is.. if i have a car ><

" my dream car "

and yeah, i can go anywhere i want to . --> ONE UTAMA
heh .


xoxo

my life...

is a fucking living NIGHTMARE!


xoxo

some things , there are no words for .

- ALL she wanted was for someone to see through her smile and realize that something is wrong .
to give her a hug for no reason though they both secretly know she needed it more than anything .


- you think that just cause she seems fine on the outside ,
that nothing is wrong ,
but if you take another look ,
she is one step from breaking down ,
and just completely losing it all .

she needs you in her life right now


i wish that you would love me , i wish that you would care .
i wish that you would trust me , and know im always there .
i wish there was a way to always be with you .
because i truly , and deeply love you ..


xoxo

omg johan... tsk

[click to view the underlined]

sooo far, knowing him for some time . he is really nothing like this .
only if he's anywhere near adrian . hahaha
johan yusof!! when are you gonna take me to sushi groove again? ;P
and and.. me droolin over your beautiful car, lol .


xoxo

welcome to my life .

Welcome to my life
Filled with misery and pain
Welcome to my heart
No longer tame

Welcome to my eyes
Swelled up with tears
For he has brought to life
My worst fears

Welcome to my face
Burnt to a crisp
From all the hot tears
Running down past my lips

Welcome to my life
Filled with misery and pain
Welcome to my life
No longer sane


xoxo

sway

by Vanessa Carlton

my heart, your hands, gentle my friend
break me neatly, numb me sweetly

say you would, say you could
say you'd come and stop the rain
say you'd try and hold me tight
and you just give me away
make me high on lullabies
a melody for me to sway
say you would, say you could
and you don't do anything

come down heavy, try and steady
precious ladies, love you, love me...

say you would, say you could
say you'd come and stop the rain
say you'd try and hold me tight
and you just give me away
make me high on lullabies
a melody for me to sway
say you would, say you could
and you don't do anything

hold my head up to the lies that you feed me
I'll fall under the spell you cast as you let me down

say you would, say you could
say you'd come and stop the rain
say you'd try and hold me tight
and you just give me away
make me high on lullabies
a melody for me to sway
make me high on lullabies a melody for me to sway

say you would, say you could
say you'd come and stop the rain
say you'd try and hold me tight
and you just give me away
make me high on lullabies
a melody for me to sway
say you would, say you could
and you don't do anything

say you'd come and stop the rain...


xoxo

swt . this sucks

yesh, once again .


im SICK .


*pouts*

i dunno whats wrong with me adi . usually its just the usual tummy ache or something, take some panadol then im better the next day .
but ive been unwell sinced sunday night .
and i cant stop vomiting .
whatever i eat, in few hours time . i'll throw em out .


IM HUNGRRYY!


went to the doctors last night, he gave damn many antibiotics . *gosh*
and im still vomiting .



- keeeweii :( korr, i really need you right now .
- ujin, ive lost contact with him . i rmbr the last time we really talked was 2 years ago . and we're drifting apart . i really miss him .
- ive not heard of portia even sinced feb . hope youre alright babe .
- ian craig beven still calls me bi ;D
- luca has been too busy to contact me from melbourne . pfft .
- lucas is an asshole, still .
- i cant believe voonie bought denden the biggest white bear ive seen . lol


xoxo

whee ;D this is awesome!

heh ;] aite . whats awesome is...

that i prolly dyed my darlin yuin's gorgeous hair . *wink*
she bought the blonde cooper incandescent kinda color .
and dear, its sooo nice .
i like her hair color . its medium brown + copper/ reddish like .
BUT i messed it up a lil .
mayb more like a patch of it . :x
so, im real sorry bout that kay?

and and.. i also dyed ken's and leland's hair too . hahahaha *wink*
ken's hair color's nice too . light reddish brown . dyed the same color for leland .
but somehow, ken's got the lighter color effect . heh
leland, the ungrateful one . misses his old hair color . pfft .

anyone want me to dye your hair, yo? contact me . ROFL ;D


xoxo

i dont wish for ever after with you .

I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance

My love for you is
so strong awaiting to be let go
I can’t hold it any longer
seems everyday that pass
Im growing deeper and deeper
into you and be with you

Life has no certainties
Love only belongs
today for me to feel
to savor and taste
to feel the magic
of my waking days
when thoughts fill
my mind of you
here with me to stay

I don’t wish for ever after with you
nor wish it to be forever
cause our life has no ending
our love no beginning
It is our now that matters
Not the yesterday or the tomorrow

I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance

Our love belongs to us now
not the ever after or the forever
cause there is no sweeter gift
than the gift of the moment

I know you’re not my ever after
I feel it here in my heart
and know it deep down inside
But what I feel for you is true
it surpass time and distance


xoxo

wild horses

by Natasha Bedingfield


Hmmm woah yea...

I feel these 4 walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Hoohhh woah woah

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I wanna run too.
Hohhh woah oh woah oh

Breaklessly abandoning my self before you

I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

[Chorus:] Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses! [X2]
Hooaah woah oh woah
Yeah

I wanna run with the wild horses


xoxo

soo...

i missed skewl today ><

i hate feeling unwell again . got my fever and flu, and coughs from my mom .
i hugged and spent some time with her, after oh soo long .
and in return, she passed me her sickness . pffst .

was at some place last night in ss2 with mom . she's been asking sooo much question bout HIM .
and all i could answered was, " he's busy " .


i miss him still .


owel .. im currently talkin to my sweetie pie, ming lin ;D
she's shocked bout at my new rules stuff and all . swt .

and im dead tired . how long have i been awake?? ><
even yuin called me a vampiric zombie . heh .
was on the phone with sam last night till 2 something . he's so funny . lol


xoxo

Is It you?

by Cassie

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say
The way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands
How I feel
Someone who can keep it real
And who knows the way
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinkin' you're the one that I've been waiting for

[chorus: 2x]
Is it you? Is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain
Someone who I can run to
Who will stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust whose heart is right
And I'm looking for someone

And I'm looking for someone who understands
How I feel
Someone who can keep it real
And who knows the way
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinking you're the one that I've been waiting for

[chorus 2x]

Take for granted how much I care (how much I care)
Appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of love to share

[chorus 2x]


xoxo

happy sweet sixteen, joanna loo kai li :)

joanna on the left , and carissa on the right ;D

tho we didnt managed to hang around much . but we do have some stuff in common . i think? lol..
always chasing onto who my crushes are . hahaha
someone who CANT, i repeat, cant . or dunno how to use mah phone properly . haha

Happy Sweet Sixteen ;D
have fun and all the best in everything .


xoxo

got tagged by my darlin' yuin <3

Dearest Yuin,

I'll Always Be There In times of trouble,
In times of need,
If you are feeling sad, you can count on me .
I will give you a wink,
Until you smile, give you a hug,
And stand by your side .
I'll be there for you till the end,
I'll always and forever, be your friend .

cause i know you'll always do the same for me .
you're the only one who understands how it feels like to be in love and hurt , at the same time , by the same person .


Y o u .

* First Name
:: Abbie

* Nicknames
:: Bie . Abbs . AJ . Abbyflabbywabby xD . Abbaywabby . Honeybee .

* Name You Wish You Had
:: er.... *blank*

* What Do People Normally Mistake Your Name As
:: Abigail . Ammy .

* Birth Date
:: 8th february 1992.

* Birth Place
:: some longkang .

* Time of Birth
:: when hades smiled .

* Single or Taken
:: single .

* Zodiac Sign
:: aquarius .

Y o u r A p p e a r a n c e .

* How Tall Are You
:: 15 something cm .

* Do You Wish You Were Taller
:: at times .

* Short or Long Hair
:: in between . i think .

* Ever Dye Your Hair A Bizarre Color
:: is purple highlights consider as a bizarre color? xD

* Last Time You Did Something Dramatic With Your Hair
:: it was soo dramatic , i couldnt rmbr when i had one .

* Glasses or Contacts
:: glasses . im not allowed to wear contacts you see .

* Do You Wear Make Up
:: depends , but im addicted to eyeliners .

* Ever Had Hair Extensions
:: nahh ..

* Paint Your Nail
:: yessh i do . and loving it .

T h e O p p o s i t e S e x .

* Shy or Outgoing
:: outgoing . i hav no manners on very much shy guys .

* Looks or Personality
:: personality, always come first .

* Sexy or Cute
:: sexyy-es *wink*

* Older or Younger Than You
:: definitely older .

* A Turn On
:: a good kisser . nice hair . sense of style . hot bod . hazel eyes ;P heh

* A Turn Off
:: guys with no sense of humor .

C h o i c e s .

* Flowers or Chocolates
:: i'll be nicer if you give me chocolate, heh ;D

* Pepsi or Coke
:: pepsi .

* Rap or Rock
:: rock xD they're my diary , screaming out loud .

* Relationships or One Night Stands
:: flings has nothing to do with sex . but bein in a relationship hits it .

* School or Work
:: im bored of studyin, so i'll say work .

* Love or Money
:: love , to be irresistibly desired .

* Country or City
:: city rock asses . country kicks cow dungs .

* Friends or Family.
:: friends are family .

H a v e Y o u E v e r .

* Lied
:: when i need to .

* Stole Something
:: yesh , my ex's dignity .

* Smoked
:: once in awhile . im tryin hard to quit ..

* Hurt Someone Close To You
:: yes . but we kiss and make up .

* Broke Someone s Heart
:: unfortunately, yessh .

* Wish You Were A Prince / Princess
:: never . i dont believe in fairytales .

* Shaved Your Head
:: hell no .

* Been In Love
:: yesh .

* Used Chopsticks
:: duhh .

* Sang In The Mirror To Yourself
:: i hate myself , therefore , i dont see mirrors .

* Cried Over Someone
:: every night of my every day .

F a v o r i t e s .

* Color
:: purple .

* Movie
:: the notebook .

* Word / Phrase
:: life's a bitch && love's a whore .

* Location
:: the playground, just lyin down, lookin up upon the stars .

8 R a n d o m F a c t s .

* i cant resist the pain , maybe cause im emotionally depressed?

* i lie on the ground , just to see the stars .

* im addicted to almost anything i like *wink*

* i dont like bein in love . its just an excuse to get hurt .

* imma crazy bitch who thinks that burning stuff is fun .

* your touch still lingers upon me .

* i rather feel pain than nothing at all .

* i do eat . but i cant fucking grow .

i tag .

* nicky
* samantha
* jeffrey
* vinnie
* esther
* anyone .

xoxo

hopefully i will...

" Twilight " by Vanessa Carlton

[Verse 1]
I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

[Chorus]
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight

[Verse 2]
Never cared never wanted
Never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face Couldn't see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change Whatever came within these shallow days

[Chorus]
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen

[Bridge]
As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead and
I didn't know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed

[Chorus]
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight

[Verse 3]
I was stained, by a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right
I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

[Chorus]
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight...


xoxo

paint it black ; rolling stones

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they are painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it's heading into black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

I wanna see it painted painted, painted black, oh baby
I wanna see it painted painted, painted black, oh baby

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

I wanna see it painted, painted black, oh
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
Painted, painted, painted black oh baby
Painted painted, painted black


xoxo

got tagged

by Shum :)
[ive done this tag before.. but owels.. im bored]

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What have you realized recently?
*that my life is hopeless .

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
*once upon a time .

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take with you? Why? Why 11?
* abel
* nick
* keeeweii
* shev
* jackie
* yuin
* jeffrey
* esther
* joy
* vinnie
* marcus

- all the reasons in the world .

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
*one utama . i miss my life there .

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
*to have him back again .

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
*no . its just an illusion to me .
7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
*ive lost alot of anything . so, what next?

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
*anything tht means everything to me .
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
*im waiting for the right time to do so, but it seemed like ive lost him adi .

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
* shum
- great to hug xD
- awesome bassist .
- good listener .

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
*i cant think of any atm .

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
*backstabbers .
13. What is the one thing you cannot live without?
*music .

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
*point it out to me.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
*my frens . are my life . without them . im nothing .

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
*hmmm...

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
*nice .

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
*you tell me .

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
*that i cant go to college next year .

20. what's on your mind?
* the friggin NIN cd i brought is a FAKE!

i tag..
*1-8 : NICK YU ;D
you babi , get a move on it .

xoxo

i promise

♥I promise you my love
♥I promise you my heart
♥I promise you my life
♥I promise we'll never be apart
♥I promise not to hurt you
♥I promise to never make you cry
♥I promise to always trust you
♥I promise not to lie
♥I promise you forever
♥I promise you tonight
♥I promise you my respect
♥I promise to do things right
♥I promise to always be there
♥I promise until the end
♥I promise to always love you
♥I promise to be your best friend
♥I promise this forever
♥I promise our friendship is my life


xoxo

happy birthday, you ultimate poser xD

finally 16
and i still have a few more of your picts lingering ard in my files . HAHA


someone who's in love, way too much with himself . jkjk
he's the ultimate poserr that i know .
always finding himself in front of the cam . tsk .
and and most of all . the evil buddie xD and also known as, the horny one who watches porn day and night . BWAHAHAHA

take care yo . and good luck in everything .


xoxo

blind

by Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go


xoxo

just so you know...

i might not be able to come online as much as before .

due to ...
i'll be stayin at the new hse today . and so ... there isnt any connection there yet . and mom's been busy .

fuck . i miss ou adi .

and and of course, my lovely soon-to-be previous neighbors . jordon, aaron & nicholas . great .. er .. ppl . lol

gah, i desperately want a car!! but i aint sure how to drive .. yet
someday soon, i hope, i wish, i want . heh ;D


xoxo

O.M.G

i really hope i get into college soon, mom's kinda pissed .

so, since ive dropped my business studies for now *sobs*
ive decided to take up bm for my extra credit . hmmm...

i dont even think i'll actually study much at all, im just havin fun along the way .
but i'll have to take the o level exams this nov...
for my...
1. history ;D
2. english
3. economics
4. b.melayu

and and... maths next year during may .

i suck at maths, therefore, since im slow at it, there isnt any time for me to finish up my maths till feb . so yeah .

im tryin to study as much as i can .
if i manage to ;P
nyways, im goin to taylors this friday ;D
to check on some stuff... and im hopin to see my darlin' shevie, jackie, daniel, minern, and the rest .


xoxo

LOVE is...

but according to katherine

LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired


xoxo

jason wade , his voice is amazing!

jason wade

he's an awesome guitarist

the lead vocalist

he's got the crowd goin, lol..

an awesome song writer

yesh, he plays the keyboard too ;P




their recent album ;D


his voice is addictive :D :D



LIFEHOUSE


xoxo

everything ; te quiero <3

Find me here , and speak to me
I want to feel you , I need to hear you
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose , you're everything

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me , how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms and you give me rest
You hold me in your hands , you won't let me fall
You steal my heart when you take my breath away
Would you take me in take me deeper now

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me , how could it be any better than this?
and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me , how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want , you're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want , you're all I need
You're everything, everything

You're all I want , you're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want , you're all I need
Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me , how could it be any better than this?
Would you tell me , how could it be any better than this?



xoxo

first time

by Lifehouse

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath,
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she [he] says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
holding my breath,
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance, Letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she [he] says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time


xoxo

take me away

by Lifehouse

this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burned me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away

I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away , take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away , take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let me stay here alone
this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place

I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away , take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
take me away , take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away


xoxo

imma failure

_|_ fuck .
imma failure .
imma big disappointment .
im depressed, mayb keeeweii's right .
i might be depressed to an extent or so, too .


i hate life

i smile on the outside , while im dying on the inside


xoxo