one step forward ; two steps back

" dead in her mind and cold to the bone ,
she opened her eyes and saw she was alone . "

xoxo

what`s goin on ?

my heart hurts .


i cant breathe properly .



xoxo

you were my greatest failure

by Sugarcult

Everybody's watching you
Breathing in your every move
Look around when the world is empty
Look around if you're guilty


Everybody's after you
I wait in line to touch you
Look around if you ever miss me
Look because it kills me


[ Chorus ]
It's over
There's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can say
To keep me here
It's over
You say we're just friends
We're playin pretend to keep me here


Every night I lay in bed
I think about the things you said
Look around, I'm the one, your only
Look around it still kills me


[ Chorus ]


It's over, To keep me here [ 4 times ]


Doesn't anyone care? [ 4 times ]


Everybody's watching you and counting down your every move
Look around when your heartbeat's empty
Look around if it's guilty


It's over
You say we're just friends
We're playin pretend to keep me here
It's over
There's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can say
To keep me here
It's over
You say we're just friends
It's almost the end
I'm outta here
It's over
I'm outta here

fuck you bitch !

i hate her . i cant stand her . all she wants to do is to get me into more trouble than i am already in . fine , called my mom and tell her bout my sleeping pills . so what ? she thinks that i'll go to skewl feeling all happy for her ? proud that im finally putting my mind on studyin ? or so she thinks .. always checkin up on me like im such a criminal . what , did i kill someone ? idiot . i cant even go to the toilet for more than 2 friggin minutes !! what is her problem ! always complaining tht i dont do my work . bitch , since when ?!! havent you noticed my grades ? asshole . i sleep in class ? who friggin doesnt ?!! after piles of work , dont we get to rest for a lil bit ? no .. she wouldnt allow . sayin GOD wouldnt like these kind of attitude . i dont believe in christianity anymore ! [ for those who are christians and is reading this , dont mind me , god would probably want you to stay out of other's ppl problem ] shesanolifefriggindogweedohimsorrythatyourhusbanddoesntloveyou ! i know she`s afraid of me , im the only student who told it off to her fagged face . you know what . i'll be less a bitch to her if she could just leave me alone ! or the rest of my frens as well . if this doesnt please her , why doesnt she ... do me a favor ? pretty please ? i dont think it'll be such a problem to her right ? if she cant stand such a rebellious / notorious student such as myself . why doesnt she just expel me ? she`s a friggin two-faced bitch ?!! i swear to whoever the fuck is , if she continues this . i will slap her . and sue her for sakes . she blacklisted my frens and i just so she can get what she wants ? what the hell ! there's nothing for her ! what the fuck does she want from me ? oh my dear , i dont think she knows that action speaks louder than words . fucktard . thinkin anyone likes her ? well , i aint gonna talk bout her daughter , i couldnt care less bout her . complained sayin that i like borrowing my ipod ? cant listen to heavy metal ? cant share drinks or food ?! i think she mistaken of some thing . sharing is caring . she took everything i ever liked in skewl . its a wonder why she`s the only one who we hate . you know what . i dont care anymore , at this point and time , this all aint worthy of my time . why should i waste my precious time on her ? fuck this life .

omfg . this is so cute !

thanks Diana ;D
these are adorable . heh

[ all these cute lil animals , follows your mouse . lol ]



[this is so cute ! move your mouse ard them ]


[ you can click on the turtle , spin it in circles and when you let it go , it'll spin for awhile . *evil laugh* oh, give em` food by clickin the screen ! ]


[ i love this the most ! click on the screen , feed the fish as much as you can and it`ll never die . lol ]


[click on the screen , see what`ll happen ]


lols .. i m bored , dont mind me . heh ;D



xoxo

i only hurt me

thoughts
racing through
my mind


i try so hard
to keep control
inside


it`s not working
anymore
people can see


everything`s
always
agitating me


cant concentrate
on
anything


i feel myself
withdrawing
everyday

xoxo

for you ..

jealousy , misery , suffering ,
you've got everything .
razors , flame , pills and cocaine ,
you need the comfort of the pain .

you make up for never present hope and lost dreams
with self inflicted agony
you accept this misplaced blame ,
bitterly fulfilled by undeserved shame .

so many vain attempts to flee have finally made you see
you cant run from a memory
you`ll never get away
you cant make it go away
so take it , take it to your grave

xoxo

s . e . a . n

you were sick that day ,
but you made me smile :D

i`ll always love you .

you were always there for me .
youre the only one who could understand .

melissa`s doin fine . just so you know .

you saved me life


sean wong wei kenn


happy 19th birthday


i miss you .


R.I.P
1989 - 2007


i dont see you anymore ,
but i still feel you around .


you`ve never failed me,
you were always there .
memories of you will be remembered for eternity .


the day you died , i lost my soul .


now you`re gone , gone forever .
i should have seen it coming ,
i should have known it all .


im missing you every moment .
im vulnerable without you .


there is no one ,
who understands .
no one to save me ,
but you .


you`ve saved my life and i blame myself .


angels may have you now ,
but someday soon ,
they'll have me too .
wait for me ...


i love you

xoxo

come back

why can i let go of you ?
i need you here


youre birthday`s coming
i dont know what else to do
give me a sign
tell me what to do


i wanna celebrate with you
you would be 19 soon
but i know i cant
cause
youre gone , gone forever


i dont need any help , i dont want any


i hate life
i hate that youre not here
i blame myself


come back , take me away


pain please go away
or
death come and take me away

xoxo

she`s a cunt . i cant stand her

like what zoran said . she`s a cunt . and we cant stand her .

two-faced bitch . thts her aite .

what i hate most is ..
she separated me and my girl away from each other .
jinnikins and i can never be apart . Lol
i miss her d . wtf .

p.s i aint a lesbo . haha . we`re just really really close frens .



xoxo

kill me .

i wish ..

i was never born .

let me sleep .
and never again ,
to wake up alive .

xoxo

dearest ming lin .

sweetie ,
sorry that ive been busy .
and that we didnt had the time to hang out since you came back .
it was such a bummer to me, but cant complain much anyway .
i blame on my hectic schedule . lol


take care aite ?
while youre back there in melbourne .
i'll miss you so much
beyond words .
cant wait till you get back here in sept . heh ;D


see you soon !
much loves <3>

xoxo

what is diazepam ?

diazepam is a benzodiazepine .
it affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause anxiety.

diazepam is used for the management of anxiety disorders or for the short-term relief of symptoms of anxiety.

diazepam may also be used to relieve agitation, shakiness, and hallucinations during alcohol withdrawal and relieve certain types of muscle spasms.

It may also be used to treat seizures , insomnia , and other conditions .

xoxo

i.now.rely.on.sleeping.pills

hmm .. how bad can this be ?

the doctor gave me diazepam .
its to help treat my insomnia .
higher effect than the ones he gave before . wtf ..

diazepam can cause gradually-developing weakness , confusion , and memory loss .
ha, just what i need .

he thinks im having night terrors or whatsoever . lmao .
but after the day i took diazepam .
i only felt like i was having a hangover . and i cant think or walk properly .

the father laughed . wth .

but no worries, i wont overdose .
my promise to keeeweii korr .



xoxo

he`s always there to warm my heart <3

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
if u die( which u wont ) i think i will be very lost in this world

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
i will definitely feel like ive lost so many things

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
i know that from then on theres not gonna be any sweet girl to talk to me when im down or call me at night just to see how im doing

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
its hard to say exactly what i would feel, because ive never imagined u dying before

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
and i dont want to

- アビーღ screaming in my mind , shattering my heart says:
how much do you love me ?

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
this much

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
get it ?? get it??

- アビーღ screaming in my mind , shattering my heart says:
not really .

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
i didnt put how much

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
because

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
my love for u cannot be put in numbers

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
or cannot be defined

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
it is just there

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
u know i love u with my life

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
but we do not speak of it

"Adan Chin ™'[Point .7]' You Have No Idea How Much This Hurts.. says:
because u know i love u


chin voon hung .
my darlin voonie, my teddy bear, my darlin sweetheart <3
i love you beyond words . dont ever forget that .
i know i dont get to see you much anymore .
but every moment when im with you, i make every second count cause i miss you.
youre my sweetest bestfren, and i'll my best not to fail you .



xoxo

insomnia sucks

sometimes
i have these brain
malfunctions

i think
im kinda normal

but then i
remember i havent
had enough sleep

let me die . another day or 2 i might faint . wtf ..



xoxo

marcus said ..

i was born to party
&&
i was forced to study


LoL

xoxo

you . left . me

sean , i need you .

xoxo

which is better ?

natasha bedingfields`s original song track ..

or ..

this acoustic version by some guy ? lol



xoxo

should have known it all before

fuck the world . fuck life .

there is no one
who understands
no one to save me


gone forever
never back again
the blackness found me


Hatred holds me now
should have known it all before

xoxo